Last week, I suggested to my wife that we should make plans to go out and have a nice dinner in the new city we just moved to.  As soon as I said it, I realized that I had made a huge mistake. I had to admit to her that my Thursday, Friday, and probably Saturday would be fully taken up by the NFL Draft. But being the great wife that she is, she has agreed to sit with me on the couch as the draft unfolds, but she will read one of her books while I watch Roger Goodell get booed.

I know how this will go. I'll react to a pick, she'll ask why, and then I'll give a long, detailed scouting report about the player and the team, to which she'll look at me with a blank stare and say, "Oh, okay, cool." To the uninitiated, the NFL Draft is a strange and unappealing event that's essentially a glorified session of picking teams during recess. I've always loved the NFL Draft, and that's probably never going to change. It's the biggest moment of hope for fans of the league's most mediocre and underperforming NFL franchises (I'm looking at you, Miami Dolphins). This year, I figured I'd make more of an effort to bridge the gap between the uninitiated and this huge sporting event that features no actual sports being played. If you're like me, and you're going to be explaining each pick of the draft to your spouse, friend, or family member, here's a fun and relatable cheat sheet that will help you explain the top prospects in the 2025 NFL Draft and bridge the culture gap.

That's right: I'm comparing the top offensive prospects in the 2025 NFL Draft to movies from the 2000s. Let's go.

Travis Hunter – American Psycho (2000)

Travis Hunter is living a double life — or at least, he thinks he can. Much like Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, who believes he's capable of living a double life without consequences, Hunter insists on playing both sides of the ball at the next level, regardless of what his new team thinks. He's even gone as far as saying he'd "never [play] football again" if forced to choose a position. The movie itself is actually quite thrilling and doesn't leave the viewer a moment to decompress. That's how Hunter has been on the field at Colorado - making big-time plays and taking no plays off. I get it: he's a unicorn-type player. Performers like him don't come along often, or maybe ever. But what's going to be his eventual outcome? Can he play both sides of the ball in the NFL? I'd prefer him at receiver because I think he'd be a Malik Nabers-type of talent on offense, but the NFL ending remains to be seen for Hunter. The ending of American Psycho is ambiguous, leaving us wondering if the dual life was ever real. I guess we won't have our real answer about the film, but we should get an answer on Hunter pretty soon. 

Shedeur Sanders – Avatar (2009)

Okay, I have to say it: Avatar is overrated — and that's kind of how I feel about Shedeur Sanders. He's a fine player, much like how Avatar is a fine movie. Is there a shared spectacle between the player and the movie? Sure. Sanders is a solid quarterback, but we've seen prospects like him who get drafted in the second or third round. The difference with Sanders has been his Hall of Fame dad, who has added some extra shine to his name. Like Avatar and its connection to James Cameron, Shedeur gets a boost from his pedigree. I've been projecting him at No. 2 to the Browns for a while, even though I don't think he should be drafted there, but I'm starting to change my mind on that. The rumors are swirling that he could go anywhere from the 1.03 to the Giants, to outside of the first round altogether. I think the truth with Sanders and Avatar is probably somewhere in between. They're solid, not game-changing, and that's okay. Maybe, if we weren't trying to force the hype, I'd like the prospect — and the movie — more.

Cam Ward – Crash (2006)

The movie Crash won the Academy Award for Best Picture in 2006, when many people believed it wasn't deserving. I'm not going to lie to you, I don't remember the movie that well. I was 16. It seemed good. Cam Ward also seems good. But it's no secret that this is a weak quarterback class, and some people, myself included, believe that Ward is benefiting greatly from that. He's likely going to be the de facto number one overall pick in the NFL draft, and while that's a huge accomplishment that nobody should be taking away from him, the expectations are going to be sky high. The same thing happened with this movie. People became more critical of it over time. To the point where people actually hated it. Does that sound like any former number one overall picks at the quarterback position? The NFL and its fan base can be a harsh place if you don't meet expectations. Sometimes players are unfairly criticized; unfortunately, that comes with being the number one pick. Ward will probably face struggles with the Titans and catch a lot of heat over the next few seasons if he doesn't turn the franchise around. I like his skill set just as I liked the cast of this movie, but that may not be enough when expectations are involved. 

Ashton Jeanty – The Dark Knight (2008)

I was 18 years old in 2008, when the superhero movie train started rolling. These movies are a big part of my DNA, and I have so much respect for them. So, comparing a player to a superhero movie shouldn't be seen as a slight in any way. I've never heard anyone say a bad word about The Dark Knight — and the same goes for Ashton Jeanty. Whether you're watching full games or highlight reels, he's making big plays. He's reliable, explosive, and completely undeniable. Just like Heath Ledger in that movie, every time Jeanty is on the field, he leaves an impression. If The Dark Knight is the gold standard for superhero films, then Jeanty is the gold standard for running backs in this class. It wouldn't surprise me one bit if Jeanty isn't just the best running back, but also the best player from this entire draft.

Omarion Hampton – Iron Man (2008)

If Ashton Jeanty is The Dark Knight, then Omarion Hampton would have to be the next best thing that year. Iron Man kicked off a new era in 2008, and its impact on the film industry went largely unnoticed until Marvel took off. Omarion Hampton has had a similar rise — a running back that quietly started building buzz, and now looks like a star. Hampton might be just as good as Jeanty, or even better in some aspects of his game, thanks to his size-speed combo. Like Robert Downey Jr's comeback performance, Hampton feels like a resurgence moment — not just for himself, but maybe for the running back position altogether.

Tetairoa McMillan – The Hangover (2009)

The Hangover was a box-office smash — the last big comedy to really dominate — and McMillan feels like the last of a dying breed, too. I'm sure we'll get more traditional X receivers in the future, just like how we got some bangers like Bridesmaids and Horrible Bosses, but this type of player isn't the norm anymore. He's the big-bodied X receiver that used to be everywhere in the NFL. Today, it's about separation, speed, and versatility — things McMillan doesn't always showcase. Like the crude comedies of the 2000s, it's getting harder for guys like him to survive in a league that's evolved. McMillan does have some sneaky wiggle once he has the ball in his hands in the open field, so there's hope that he can not only survive in the league but thrive as an evolving player. Comedies had to change to succeed, and I think McMillan has the tools to adapt to a constantly changing NFL landscape.

Tyler Warren – Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

We've seen players like Warren in the past (looking at you, Taysom Hill), but nothing that comes close to being in the same tier. If Tyler Warren is Fellowship of the Ring, then Taysom Hill is Willow. Much like this movie, Warren is ahead of his time and will be difficult to duplicate — a versatile, athletic tight end who can do everything. Line him up as the wildcat quarterback, in the backfield, on the line of scrimmage, out wide against a corner -  he's the ultimate chess piece for a smart offensive mind.

* I'm going to have a selfish moment here, but I really hope my team, the Miami Dolphins, go all-in on Warren and trade Tyreek Hill asap. Just imagine Warren as the goalline wildcat quarterback in the backfield with De'Von Achane, Jonnu Smith, and Jaylen Waddle. *

Okay, back to the movie stuff. That's how you reset an offense. It's probably unfair to load him up with expectations, but that's what happens when you're this unique. We may get more players like him down the road, but Warren is a rare prospect that could reset the standard at his position, the same way Lord of the Rings reset the standard for fantasy blockbuster films. 

Colston Loveland – Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Shaun of the Dead pulled just $30 million in theaters, but over time, it became a cult classic and one of my personal favorites. Seriously, if you haven't watched the Cornetto Trilogy, you should take some time to catch up. Colston Loveland hasn't had the flashiest college career, but the tape shows a versatile tight end who can block, catch, and make big plays with the ball in his hand. Michigan didn't exactly set him up to shine, but the talent is there. Much like Shaun of the Dead, we probably haven't seen Loveland's best yet — but give it time, and he could become a fan favorite in both NFL and fantasy football circles

* This doesn't apply to Loveland, but I thought you should know that Hot Fuzz is one of the best movies I've ever seen. *

Matthew Golden – Mean Girls (2004)

At the time of Mean Girls, Lindsay Lohan was unstoppable. She had all the tools — beauty, charisma, talent — she seemed like the next big star. That's Matthew Golden right now: buzzing at the right moment, looking like a star. But just like Lohan, the question is whether it lasts. Golden only has three 100-yard games in his entire collegiate career, and two of them came in his final four games at Texas. I have a late-first/early-second-round grade on Golden. I see that there's potential, but maybe we're trying too hard to "make fetch happen." 

Emeka Egbuka – Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)

Not the best film in the franchise, but still one of my favorites. That's Emeka Egbuka. He's tied to a powerhouse brand in Ohio State, and his game just feels dependable. He's not flashy, but he's consistent, technically sound, and well-rounded. Egbuka's route running is polished, his run blocking is surprisingly good, and his hands are dependable. You know exactly what you're getting, and that's a huge asset in the NFL. Like Order of the Phoenix, I could watch Egbuka again and again — and I bet NFL scouts feel the same.

Luther Burden – The Fast and the Furious (2001)

Flashy, fast, and fun — but not for everyone. Luther Burden is the kind of prospect that jumps off the screen. But there's concern that an NFL team won't know how to use him properly, just like how the Fast and Furious franchise has gone off the rails at times. Missouri's offense couldn't get him the ball consistently, and in many ways, just like the Fast and Furious franchise, the Missouri offense had jumped the shark. I understand why Burden seemed to lose interest in 2024. I lost interest in these movies a long time ago. For Burden, the talent is there, but the fit has to be perfect. Get him with a coaching staff that has subtlety and nuance in their approach, and we may have a long-standing NFL star on our hands. 

Mason Taylor – Casino Royale (2006)

Mason Taylor is the son of Jason Taylor, a former Miami Dolphins legend and Hall of Famer, so it's safe to say that Mason enters the league with expectations. There's a familiarity, yet a sense of uncertainty remains. Something is different. Can he be as good as his predecessor? Much like Daniel Craig's James Bond, this is a different version of what we're used to. Craig came into the James Bond series at a time when the character was all about being suave and debonair, while using sleek gadgets. When Casino Royale premiered, a lot of audiences had concerns that this version of their favorite superspy couldn't work because he was too rugged and... blonde! It's too different, too weird - how can it work? Sure, Mason Taylor isn't a defensive player like his dad or uncle (Zach Thomas), and yeah, he's coming into the league when the tight end position is all about speed and versatility. But there's a certain reliability that both Taylor and Craig's Bond have to their performances. Taylor can block, run smooth routes, and catch with soft hands — he's, dare I say, a classic, well-rounded tight end. After the combine, many of the athletic worries were put to bed for Taylor. Similarly, after Casino Royale was released, nobody had worries about the new Bond. With rumors that Taylor may even go late in the first round, I think we could all be surprised by how good this new prospect with a familiar feel could be. 

Quinshon Judkins, TreVeyon Henderson, Kaleb Johnson –  Spider-Man Trilogy (2002-2007)

Millennials love the original original Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movies — well, maybe not the third one. These three running backs remind me of that trilogy, or most trilogies for that matter. Each one offers a different flavor, different traits, and different levels of potential, but usually one of them is just not very good. When the Spider-Man movies were released, there was nothing bigger or better at the time. It absolutely took over the zeitgeist, to the point where the Sony PlayStation 3 used the same font as the Spider-Man movies. When I've gone back and watched these movies again as an adult, they just don't hold up the same way. They were great for their time, but we probably hyped it up a little too much. I think this running back class could be similar. Right now, we all think this group is stacked, and it kinda is, but it might not be as legendary as we remember it down the line. The odds are one of these three guys will actually be very good (Spider-Man 2), one will be solid (Spider-Man), and one will be a major disappointment (Spider-Man 3).

Jaxson Dart – Donnie Darko (2001)

Some people love Donnie Darko. I'm not one of them. I was probably too young to get it, and as I got older, I just didn't get the appeal — and maybe that's how I feel about Jaxson Dart. I can see the potential. He's mobile, has a solid arm, and flashes creativity at times. But it's hard to see the full picture. As a prospect, he's a huge risk. He needs the right coach, the right offense, and the right system. Not every team will "get it," just like not every viewer gets Donnie Darko. But like the film, Dart is becoming a cult classic, and plenty of people have him as one of their favorite prospects in the draft. That's perfectly fine; he's just not for me.