Hi Folks,
We do a ton of insightful, thoughtful, and serious features here at Footballguys, with smart people thinking deeply for you.
This is not one of those features.
This is Random Shots, and it's a few pages of me downloading my brain that gets stuffed with way too many random items from too many hours watching, reading about, and listening to Football every weekend and throughout the week. It's the only way I manage. Here's hoping it has some value for you.
We'll see. Now let's get to it.
J
Well F###.
We lost a one of one this week when Coach Mike Leach died Monday.
I care less about celebrities and athletes than any person I know. I literally do not care at all.
But losing The Pirate stings.
I think because I never saw him as a celebrity. I saw him as someone I admired.
He was fun and authentic and led people well. He made people feel welcomed and appreciated, and valued.
Not to mention, he was one of the most innovative football coaches in history. The modern-day game of football at all levels looks markedly different because of him.
As I process this, I think Random Shots has a good bit to do with it hitting me like it does.
This goofy column is actually sort of a serious look into how I see the world, specifically through the lens of football and sports.
I play it off like it’s no big deal, but it’s a big deal to me.
And if one person could personify Random Shots, it’s Mike Leach. Fun, interesting, caring, and deep in the weeds with Football, and I’ve probably featured him more than any other person over the years.
Rock on, Coach. You will be missed. So for this issue, we hoist one for The Pirate.
Some fun moments over the years. The quotes are great, but for the full effect, you need to hear and see the video for the delivery.
On The Absurdity Of "Balanced" Play Calling
Balance, according to @Coach_Leach and nothing more true has been said. pic.twitter.com/zFaYkCzoGg
— Drew Piscopo ðŸ´&zwjâ˜ ï¸ (@DrewCPiscopo) October 2, 2018
“There’s nothing balanced about the 50 percent run, 50 percent pass, because that’s 50 percent stupid,” Leach said after Washington State defeated Utah in 2018 despite rushing for zero yards. “What is balanced is when you have five skill positions, if all five of them are contributing to the offensive effort in a somewhat equal fashion, then that’s balanced. But this notion that if you hand it to one guy 50 percent of the time and then you throw it to a combination of two guys the other 50 percent that you’re really balanced and you proudly pat yourself on the back and tell yourself that — and people have been doing that for decades — well then you’re delusional. So, yeah, that’s how I look at it.”
On Recruiting A Kicker From The Stands
The time Mike Leach recruited a kid who won a kicking contest during a Texas Tech game to join the team.
— CBS Sports HQ (@CBSSportsHQ) December 13, 2022
He didn't miss an extra point after that 🙠pic.twitter.com/hoOJ9pYMsi
On Predicting Which Pac 12 Mascot Would Win A Fight To The Death
“First of all, what kind of mythical powers does a Sun Devil have?” Leach, who handicapped a hypothetical fight to the death between Pac-12 mascots on more than one occasion, told reporters in 2019. “We’ve got to consider that. I’m going to say the Wildcat’s out. The Trojan, does he have a horse or is he on foot? Does he have a bow and arrow or just a sword? The Bruin, definitely formidable, then another bear up there at Cal. The Tree, I mentioned that tree is going to get chopped down, unless we’re going to go with a bird and somebody might get pecked or something. And then the Duck might lose interest and just fly away and get out of there, which may be good advice under the circumstances. The Husky, no chance. The Beaver, we’ll see how long that beaver can hold his breath. The Ute, again, we’re back to is he on horseback? Does he have a bow and arrow? Did he trade for a rifle? Because if that Ute’s got a rifle there are some definite problems. You’d have to get one of those Harry Potter activists to read up on how you kill a Sun Devil, because there’s a lot of outside stuff there. Just as far as the beast alone, a Buffalo is going to be pretty hard to tangle with. A buffalo is utterly outstanding.”
On Wedding Advice
“When it comes to marriages, the women lose their mind. Your fiancee’s going to lose her mind, your mother-in-law is going to lose her mind, your mom is going to lose her mind, several of your sisters and female relatives are going to lose their mind. And they’re going to barrage you with constant questions: ‘What should we wear?’ And of course my answer was: ‘I don’t care.’ And then: ‘What color should the invitations be?’ ‘I don’t care.’ ‘What should we have for dessert?’ ‘I don’t care.’ ‘Should we sit this way or that way?’ ‘I don’t care.’
“But see, ‘I don’t care’ is not satisfactory at all, and you’re going to get caught in a Catch-22 — and I’m certain that you already have — and that Catch-22 is, ‘Well I want you to be a part of this, too, so what color invitations?’ ‘All right, the blue ones.’ ‘Well, I kind of like the tan ones.’ ‘Okay, the tan ones then.’ ‘Oh, you’re just saying that because you want this over with; you’re not even thinking about it,’ which is, of course, true. ‘What do you want for dessert?’ ‘I was thinking of strawberry shortcake.’ ‘Oh, okay, yeah, strawberry shortcake would be good.’ ‘Well, what about the blueberry pie?’ ‘Well, I like the blueberry pie; we could have the blueberry pie.’ ‘Well, I thought you said you wanted the strawberry shortcake?!’ … In the end, you’ll wish you eloped.”
On Bigfoot And Aliens
“I hope there’s Bigfoot. I don’t think there is. The reason I don’t think there is is because we’ve found bones of dinosaurs and everything else, but we haven’t found bones, that I’ve heard of, of Bigfoot. It would be fun if there’s Bigfoot, I hope there’s Bigfoot, but my guess is there is not. Aliens, I suspect there is, and I don’t know that they’re little green men, and I don’t know that they’re specifically in our galaxy. … I take more the biblical approach on this whole thing, which, to me, why only this planet? Why only us? If it can happen here … To me it’s always been naive, on Earth, they say: ‘Well, we’re the only ones.’ Really? Why? Have you been to the other planets? Have you checked out the other planets? To me, it makes more sense that if it happened here, it happened somewhere else than it does that it only happened here, you know what I mean? And then we know that there’s galaxies beyond our galaxy.”
On Candy Corn
Mike Leach on the great candy corn debate: “It’s like fruitcake. There’s a reason they only serve fruitcake once a year.” pic.twitter.com/Kf7pi3LxNQ
— Theo Lawson (@TheoLawson_SR) November 1, 2017
“I think candy corn’s awful. You know, it’s like fruitcake. There’s a reason they only serve fruitcake once a year, because it’s awful. There’s a reason they only serve mint juleps once a year, because they’re awful. And there’s a reason they only serve candy corn once a year, because it’s awful. Now, that does beg the question why they serve it at all. But anyway, that’s my opinion.”
On Coffee
"Coffee tastes terrible anyway... just put it down one sip at a time."
— SEC Network (@SECNetwork) October 8, 2022
Your weekly life advice from @Coach_Leach 😂 @MartySmithESPN pic.twitter.com/oCC1IoNIhZ
“Coffee tastes terrible anyway, so don’t put anything in it to obstruct the harsh, bitter taste. Just put it down, one sip at a time. … The experience is terrible.”
On Tom Brady's Deflategate And The Kardashians
ICYMI: Mike Leach voiced his thoughts on Deflategate. Needless to say, they were interesting: http://t.co/2KfsBxMmsI pic.twitter.com/8jNyhClu7I
— ESPN (@espn) July 30, 2015
“It’s kind of disturbing if you think about it,” Leach said when asked in 2015 for his thoughts on the scandal that led to a four-game suspension for quarterback Tom Brady. “With everything that’s going on, we’re worried about how much air goes into a ball when everybody uses their own ball. It’s not like it’s a forged football. We waste a lot of time with that, and then we worry about the Kardashians. How can it be that we laugh about England’s obsession with the royal family? At least the royal family has college degrees and military service.”
On Pine Cone Wars
“If a pine cone war breaks out, you don’t really have any choice but to engage in it,” Leach said in response to a question about his favorite memories as an Eagle Scout growing up in Wyoming. “There’s no neutral countries in pine cone wars.”
On Technology And Dating
“I’m not really good with technology. All this button-pushing and whatnot. I mean, you can just imagine based on what’s happening in the last 15 years. Conversations won’t happen 10 years from now. There isn’t going to be anybody talking to anybody. It’s going to be this [mimics pushing buttons]. ‘Do you want to go out on a date with me?’ ‘I don’t know; what do you look like?’ ‘Well, I look kind of like this.’ ‘Okay, well, what are your interests?’ ‘Well, what do you think my interests are? Looking into this thing and typing into this just like yours are.’ ‘Yeah, no kidding, that’s what everybody’s doing.’ ‘Yeah, that’s right, virtually everyone.’ ‘Well, where do you want to go?’ ‘Well, what difference does it make? Because all we’re going to be doing is looking into this machine anyway.’ ‘Well, that’s true, and in the end it’s going to be tough to perpetuate the species. There’s no question about that.’ So we’re all going to look in this box and eventually be extinct. That’s how it ends.”
Some other goofiness from the week, as I don't think Coach would have wanted this to be all about him.
I love these so much.
Week 14 Helmet Matchups. pic.twitter.com/esONRuEF5E
— ð™ƒð™šð™¡ð™¢ð™šð™© ð˜¼ð™™ð™™ð™žð™˜ð™© (@HelmetAddict) December 11, 2022
Hats off to my buddy Scott Fish. They're making a bunch of kid's Christmases again this year.
On Tuesday we spent over $10,000 in Minnesota buying toys for @ToysForTots_USA -- one of many shopping trips around the country for #fantasycares.
— Scott Fish (@ScottFish24) December 8, 2022
Thanks for all the support for @FantasyCaresOrg this year. You did this and so much more! Thank you for being an awesome community! pic.twitter.com/Bc20F6ivIj
If you know me, you know I love the underdog. Couldn't be cheering more for Brock Purdy.
Brock Purdy becomes the only QB to beat Tom Brady in his first career start 😮
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) December 12, 2022
16/21 Comp/Att
185 Pass Yards
3 Total TD
134 Passer Rating
Mr. Relevant 👠@brockpurdy13 pic.twitter.com/AxHbOXpqM8
And,
Brock Purdy chef's kiss
— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) December 11, 2022
(via @NFL)pic.twitter.com/UkCtvQdn2c
Before the game last week, I could have envisioned several scenarios where Purdy was replaced during the game.
But I have to be honest, pulling the rookie because he'd staked his team to a 35-0 lead over Tom Brady and they wanted to preserve him for the playoff run was not one of them.
Sweet moment from his dad.
Brock Purdy's dad watching his son 🥰
— ESPN (@espn) December 11, 2022
What a moment ðŸ™
(via @nfl)pic.twitter.com/gsM4k3Y4Nr
Meanwhile, live look in on San Francisco General Hospital...
John Lynch visiting Jimmy G in the hospital after seeing the 49ers with Brock Purdy under center pic.twitter.com/ewOQ01Hijw
— NFL Memes (@NFL_Memes) December 11, 2022
Music Note of the Week is a fun new one. Black Country, New Road is a 6-person band from London. Half of its members are classically trained Klezmer musicians (a traditional Jewish style of music), and the others are self-taught. They released their debut album in 2021 and were nominated for the Mercury Prize. Their newest album, Ants from Up There, came out earlier this year. "Concorde" is a great song from their latest album.
And here's a proud dad moment. I found this song in a rad music newsletter called Stereo Field, started by the young people in my family.
They're way cooler than their dad/father-in-law, and you should totally subscribe.
It's 100% free and has sweet features and playlists for awesome music. Sign up here.
I did not have “Sauce Gardner begs for Pro Bowl votes” on my bingo card.
Sauce Gardner complaining about Pro Bowl votes might be the funniest thing I’ve seen in awhile pic.twitter.com/EexTbAEQnE
— Cam (@Camden_51) December 8, 2022
You know he thought about it...
Zeke fakes the kettle jump pic.twitter.com/E89gZhgaGO
— Mr Matthew CFB (@MrMatthewCFB) December 11, 2022
Our game can be a cruel game.
57 points in the Lions-Vikings game and 0 combined touchdowns for Justin Jefferson, Amon-Ra St. Brown, D’Andre Swift, Jamaal Williams, and TJ Hockenson.
— Dave Kluge (@DaveKluge) December 11, 2022
The Lions won everyone over this summer with Hard Knocks. And they've kept it going.
It wasn't so much that Penei Sewell caught a pass. It's that they put him in motion at full sprint for a play that was designed for him not just to make the catch but to gain yards after the catch.
No. 58 reports as an eligible receiver. No. 58 is an eligible receiver.@peneisewell58 #ProBowlVote pic.twitter.com/DiihvbkkeS
— Detroit Lions (@Lions) December 11, 2022
Truth:
— trey wingo (@wingoz) December 11, 2022
Even better:
Oh baby. pic.twitter.com/Vx4Tc73njn
— Mike Mulholland (@mulho2mj) December 11, 2022
I don't know how far this team can go. But I'm pulling for them.
I'm also pulling for Jared Goff. When Sean McVay last year kept making sure everyone knew how great it was to finally have a quarterback in Matthew Stafford after he traded Goff away, Goff just kept his head down and went to work. Love it.
Seattle Mood:
— ✶ â“‚ï¸ð•’ð•£ð•”ð•¦ð•¤ð”» â–¶ï¸ âœ¶ (@_MarcusD3_) December 12, 2022
Maybe Trevor Lawrence was who we thought he was.
#Jaguars QB Trevor Lawrence since Week 9:
— Doug Kyed (@DougKyed) December 11, 2022
125/174 (72.3%), 1,300 yards, 10 TDs, 0 INTs.
Tyreek Hill with another example of why you play to the whistle.
What... just... happened 😳 @cheetah
— NFL (@NFL) December 12, 2022
📺: #MIAvsLAC on NBC
📱: Stream on NFL+ https://t.co/Fjz0sbDEsG pic.twitter.com/I0dh4l6iR0
Your weekly dose of Patrick Mahomes II ridiculousness...
NO LOOK TOSS??? @PatrickMahomes who are you?!?#ProBowlVote pic.twitter.com/J4jfxgn04K
— Kansas City Chiefs (@Chiefs) December 11, 2022
The Chargers beat a team with a winning record.
That's a new thing for them.
These guys make good money—even the young players.
But these guys earn it.
prayers up for Mike White's ribcage, or whatever remains of it pic.twitter.com/TgWYAwkKeB
— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) December 11, 2022
No flag on this play. Things have changed for Tom Brady.
Who says Tom Brady doesn’t choke pic.twitter.com/a00OEKYb8V
— Bennett Karoll (@TheBennettK) December 12, 2022
Wrapping with a couple more for Coach Leach.
He told us well in advance how he'd feel about someone writing his obituary.
Jeremy Schaap: "When people write the Mike Leach obituary, how do you want to be remembered?"
— Theo Lawson (@TheoLawson_SR) July 18, 2019
Mike Leach: "Well that's their problem ... what do I care, I'm dead."
I get the sense this Mike Leach E:60 feature (Sunday, 6 a.m. PT, ESPN) will be pretty good. pic.twitter.com/91zEUibhw0
I'll miss Lane Kiffin vs. Mike Leach.
Just been watching this on a loop pic.twitter.com/WNNoKWRlqn
— Ryan Kramer (@KramerCentric) December 14, 2022
Kiffin with a heartfelt tribute.
— Lane Kiffin (@Lane_Kiffin) December 13, 2022
Mississippi State with an excellent video.
ð˜–ð˜¯ð˜¦ ð˜°ð˜§ ð˜µð˜©ð˜¦ ð˜£ð˜¦ð˜´ð˜µ ð˜µð˜° ð˜¦ð˜·ð˜¦ð˜³ ð˜¥ð˜° ð˜ªð˜µ.#HailStateðŸ´â˜ ï¸ pic.twitter.com/kShEfc7cm4
— Mississippi State Football (@HailStateFB) December 14, 2022
Rock on, Coach.
You will be missed.
Thank you for being part of this goofy journey with us.
And thanks to Footballguys Keith Overton, Sigmund Bloom, and Clayton Gray for the help. If you've got a Random Shot of your own, email me at bryant@footballguys.com.
Thanks for playing along, and I hope you make the most of whatever you're doing in your life. Love your neighbor and stick together.
Peace and Grace to you.
J
