Happy new year everyone!
Let's get to the picks!
WEEK 17 PICKS
Dallas (-3.5) vs. Washington
I suppose there's a bit of drama in this game. The possibility DOES exist that Jerry Jones will literally try to murder Dan Snyder on the 50-yard line, which is reason enough to tune in.
Pick: Cowboys
New York Jets (-3.5) at Buffalo
I keep hearing how Rex Ryan badly wants to beat his old team and keep them from the playoffs, as if that means the Bills have a better chance of winning. Oh, Rex wants to win? Well then, by all means go ahead and win it Rex! If "wanting to win" was what enabled teams to win, then Jay Cutler's career record would be 0-156. Let's get real. The Jets are in a different class than the Bills at this point, and it's not close.
Pick: Jets
Indianapolis (-6.5) vs. Tennessee
All I'm gonna say about the 2015 Indy season, is that a bunch of people are going to get AMAZING value out of drafting Andrew Luck in fantasy next year.
Pick: Colts
Cincinnati (-7.5) vs. Baltimore
Baltimore's Super Bowl was last week, and there's not much left in the tank for another big upset. The Bengals have still got some stuff to play for, and should take care of business rather easily in this one.
Pick: Bengals
New England (-9.5) at Miami
Seriously, if you don't think this game should be a double digit line, then you haven't watched one second of Miami Dolphins football this season.
Pick: Patriots
Chicago (-1.5) vs. Detroit
Tails
Pick: Lions
Pittsburgh (-10.5) at Cleveland
So, remember in Back To the Future when George McFly finally summons the courage to stand up to Biff and he punches him out in the parking lot? Last week, the Steelers were Biff and the Ravens were McFly. But what they don't show you in Back To the Future is the next week when Biff becomes enraged and finds an even bigger weenie to just abuse the absolute crap out of. Purple nurples, pantsing, wedgies, wet willies, the whole nine yards. Guess who is playing the role of weenie in this one?
Pick: Steelers
Houston (-6.5) vs. Jacksonville
Jacksonville had a nice story for awhile, stayed in the playoff hunt until late in the season, probably found its franchise quarterback, they've got a bunch of offensive weapons that will make for some excitement come 2016. But this Houston team is rolling, and that extra half point is gonna come in handy.
Pick: Texans
New York Giants (-3.5) vs. Philadelphia
Look, I understand the two teams don't really have anything to play for. But when the Giants had nothing to play for this week, their performance was reminiscent of the 39-year-old porn actress, well past her prime, bored out of her skull, and just going through the motions. At least the Eagles have had some excitement this week and might be jazzed up if Chip did in fact lose the locker room.
Pick: Eagles
Atlanta (-4.5) vs. New Orleans
Atlanta is coming off the high of knocking the unbeaten Panthers off their perch, which makes this the perfect time for them to poop the bed.
Pick: Saints
Denver (-7.5) vs. San Diego
Last I checked, the Chargers still stink.
Pick: Broncos
Saint Louis (-3.5) at San Francisco
I have a friend who once had a wart on his arm back when we were younger. I watched him pick at it, scrape it, and then eventually rip it right out of his skin. The thing got all stretched out because there were like, roots in it. Eventually, the thing snapped and he bled all over the place. None of that was as disgusting as this game.
Pick: Rams
Kansas City (-6.5) vs. Oakland
The Chiefs aren't messing around at this point. Time to close it out, finish up this business, and strike fear into every team in the AFC as co-partners with the Jets as "teams nobody wants to play".
Pick: Chiefs
Carolina (-10.5) vs. Tampa Bay
Nobody believed the Panthers were as good as their record, but let's not bury them after one game either. I've said for awhile that Arizona is the most complete team in the NFC, but you don't get to 14-0 by accident. Let's keep in mind that their number of losses is still only one more than the number of times Tim Tebow has touched a boob. On the flipside, the Bucs have made some nice strides in year 1 of Winston. They've been competitive in most games, and seem poised to make some noise in 2016. A hard-fought loss in Week 17 against a divisional foe is just the right feel to carry into the offseason.
Pick: Bucs
Arizona (-4.5) vs. Seattle
Kind of a weird line, suggesting that a field goal game late will be determined by whoever has the ball last. I'll take the best team in the NFL to pop in a field goal late and make this one a touchdown victory.
Pick: Cardinals
Green Bay (-3.5) vs. Minnesota
Minnesota may actually be the more complete team here, but I'm not going against Aaron Rodgers in primetime with a division title on the line.
Pick: Packers
BEST BETS: Cowboys, Jets, Patriots, Steelers
LOCK: Pittsburgh Steelers
LAST WEEK
Overall: 7-9
Best Bets: 2-2
Lock of the Week: 1-0
YEAR TO DATE
Overall: 112-127 (46%)
Best Bets: 27-37 (42%)
Lock of the Week: 8-8 (50%)
POWER RANKINGS
1. Cardinals 13-2 (2)
2. Panthers 14-1 (1)
3. Patriots 12-3 (3)
4. Broncos 11-4 (8)
5. Bengals 11-4 (4)
6. Chiefs 10-5 (9)
7. Packers 10-5 (5)
8. Seahawks 9-6 (6)
9. Jets 10-5 (11)
10. Vikings 10-5 (10)
11. Steelers 9-6 (7)
12. Rams 7-8 (12)
13. Redskins 8-7 (13)
14. Texans 8-7 (14)
15. Raiders 7-8 (15)
16. Bills 7-8 (17)
17. Falcons 8-7 (20)
18. Bears 6-9 (18)
19. Eagles 6-9 (16)
20. Giants 6-9 (19)
21. Colts 7-8 (22)
22. Lions 6-9 (24)
23. Saints 6-9 (25)
24. Ravens 5-10 (26)
25. Bucs 6-9 (23)
26. Jaguars 5-10 (21)
27. Chargers 4-11 (27)
28. Dolphins 5-10 (28)
29. Cowboys 4-11 (29)
30. Browns 3-12 (30)
31. 49ers 4-11 (31)
32. Titans 3-12 (32)
