If I'm not careful, people will stop referring to bad things as "the Megan Trainor of ___" and start calling it "the Mike Brown's picks of ___". It's been rough no doubt, and I'm willing to own up to that part of it. I don't have much choice, since it's right there in black and white. I considered passing the blame on to George W. Bush and Barack Obama, since my record has really gone down the drain during each man's term. But the reality is that this has been one long practical joke on all of you. The joke is now over. I hope you enjoyed it. Time to get serious.
Let's get to the picks!
WEEK 9 PICKS
Cincinnati (-10.5) vs. Cleveland
Whoa there, this is Cincinnati you're talking about. You're in in Cleveland! A Thursday night game with the usual sucky performances, does not lend itself to a very impressive performance by either team. This makes a blowout somewhat unlikely. And yes, I watched last week's Patriots / Dolphins game. I've seen the Patriots play. The Bengals are not the Patriots
Pick: Browns
New Orleans (-8.5) vs. Tennessee
Coming off that ridiculous offensive performance and now welcoming the Titans to town? Seems like a recipe for instant success. The only issue is the coaching change in Tennessee could have some funky impact on things, but this one looks too juicy to pass up.
Pick: Saints
Buffalo (-3.5) vs. Miami
The battle of the well-rested AFC East foes culminates with what looks to me like a field goal game. Weather in Buffalo isn't TOO horrid yet, so let's take the Dolphins to continue their offensive resurgence.
Pick: Dolphins
New England (-13.5) vs. Washington
The Redskins are coming off the bye week, have played better in recent weeks, and didn't have to travel very far to get to this game. The line feels a tad high.
Pick: Redskins
New York Jets (-2.5) vs. Jacksonville
Is this a typo? We're calling the Jags a better team than the Jets on a neutral field? Really?
Pick: Jets
Pittsburgh (-5.5) vs. Oakland
It pains me to believe in the Raiders, but I think we have to at this point right? I mean, here's hoping they go into Heinz Field and get smacked in the mouth a little bit. But until I see it happen...
Pick: Raiders
Minnesota (-2.5) vs. Saint Louis
I haven't been a big believer in Minnesota to this point, despite their high-ish ranking below. And I'm not totally sold on them even now still. But I'll give them a break here because of the Jekyll and Hyde nature of the Rams to this point, and because I think Adrian Peterson and Todd Gurley are about to give us a tremendous game of "anything you can do, I can do better".
Pick: Vikings
Green Bay (-2.5) at Carolina
Everyone was under the assumption that Green Bay was the lone hope to take down the Patriots this year, but after last week's performance I'm not even sold on them being the best team in the NFC North. Seriously, what the heck WAS that?!? I'm certainly not laying points on the ROAD with them in the near future, unless they give me a good reason to do so...
Pick: Panthers
New York Giants (-2.5) at Tampa Bay
The first of four straight road favorites I'm about to take, because we're starting to get to the point in the season where the quality of the teams matters a whole lot more than the home/road status of them. Do I have the math to back that up? C'mon, if you've been reading for the last eight weeks, you know the answer to that already...
Pick: Giants
Atlanta (-4.5) at San Francisco
Coming off back to back disappointing performances, I would imagine the Falcons are just about ready to unleash hell. Simultaneously, the Niners are obviously going to be extremely motivated now that the team is admitting they're finished and there's basically zero hope for anything. Wait...
Pick: Falcons
Denver (-3.5) at Indianapolis
I wanted to get cute here and pick a field goal game, so I could take Indy. I would justify it by saying Peyton Manning would have some jitters going back home, trying to prove how good he is and put on a show for the Indy fans one last time. Then I realized how bad the Colts stink.
Pick: Broncos
Philadelphia (-2.5) at Dallas
Until Tony Romo returns, this is not a team you want to get behind. I believe Jason Garrett still has one career victory without Tony Romo at quarterback. Don't expect that to change against a Philly team that's well-rested coming off the bye week.
Pick: Eagles
San Diego (-3.5) vs. Chicago
WE COVERED LAST WEEK!!! Moral victories in Week 8, gotta love it...
Pick: Chargers
BEST BETS: Saints, Jets, Giants, Falcons
LOCK: New York Jets
LAST WEEK
Overall: 4-10
Best Bets: 1-3
Lock of the Week: 1-0
YEAR TO DATE
Overall: 53-66 (44%)
Best Bets: 13-19 (40%)
Lock of the Week: 3-5 (37%)
POWER RANKINGS
1. Patriots 7-0 (1)
2. Broncos 7-0 (5)
3. Bengals 7-0 (3)
4. Panthers 7-0 (4)
5. Packers 6-1 (2)
6. Cardinals 6-2 (6)
7. Seahawks 4-4 (9)
8. Vikings 5-2 (11)
9. Rams 4-3 (12)
10. Steelers 4-4 (10)
11. Falcons 6-2 (8)
12. Raiders 4-3 (20)
13. Jets 4-3 (7)
14. Saints 4-4 (14)
15. Giants 4-4 (13)
16. Dolphins 3-4 (16)
17. Colts 3-5 (15)
18. Eagles 3-4 (18)
19. Bills 3-4 (19)
20. Cowboys 2-5 (17)
21. Chiefs 3-5 (22)
22. Bears 2-5 (21)
23. Ravens 2-6 (27)
24. Chargers 2-6 (23)
25. Browns 2-6 (24)
26. Redskins 3-4 (26)
27. Bucs 3-4 (32)
28. Jaguars 2-5 (28)
29. 49ers 2-6 (25)
30. Texans 3-5 (31)
31. Lions 1-7 (29)
32. Titans 1-6 (30)
