WEEK 4 PICKS
* I pick four “best bets” and make one of those a “lock” each week. Those are listed at the end.
San Francisco (-3.5) at Saint Louis
San Francisco is just about ready to light somebody up, but since this is a Thursday night game it means the quality of gameplay is going to be the football version of the Dexter finale. Let’s go Niners, 4-0.
PICK: Niners
Indianapolis (-8.5) at Jacksonville
Just when you think things can’t possibly get any worse for the Jaguars, you realize they have another game this week.
PICK: Colts
Seattle (-3.5) at Houston
Every time Arian Foster comes in the game, it feels like when Gob Bluth came out to Final Countdown. The music made you believe something amazing was happening, but at the end the best thing that happened was a boat sank. I wonder how long Gary Kubiak will keep hurting the team for the sake of Foster’s ego. Anybody watch this team and NOT think Ben Tate is clearly the superior runner at this point?
PICK: Seahawks
Detroit (-2.5) vs. Chicago
Got into a strange Facebook debate (is there any other kind) this past week about the toughness of Jay Cutler. I found myself on the wrong side of the argument, of course being in support of Cutler. I’ve showered 3 times per day since the discussion, and I still haven’t full washed away the stench.
PICK: Bears
Kansas City (-4.5) vs. New York Giants
I just can’t quit the Giants, not yet at least. I’m giving them one more week to get their act together. If they can’t do it now, at least we’ll know what they’re made of.
PICK: Giants
Cincinnati (-5.5) at Cleveland
YOU’RE NOT IN CINCINNATI ANYMORE!!! YOU’RE IN CLEVELAND!!! Yeah, doesn’t really have the same ring to it. Expect a major regression from the Browns.
PICK: Bengals
Tampa Bay (-3.5) vs. Arizona
I happened to be the one to break the news to three different people about Josh Freeman getting benched, all at different times. In each case, the reaction was pretty close to: “Oh wow, no way! Daaaaamn. Well actually, I mean it makes sense. Yeah now that I think about it, probably no big deal.”
PICK: Cardinals
Baltimore (-3.5) at Buffalo
The Ravens appeared to have found something last week, and I expect that to carry over at least somewhat in this week’s game. That extra half point scares me a little bit, but I’ve got to think that a team that was very recently elite has enough firepower to take down this upstart.
PICK: Ravens
Pittsburgh (-1.5) at Minnesota
It sucks when you’re coming off a fairly successful season, spend the offseason losing your biggest receiving threat, then enter the next season and the wheels come off en route to an 0-3 record. SEE WHAT I DID THERE???
PICK: Steelers
Tennessee (-4.5) vs. New York Jets
This dude I know who has never lost a bet in his life if you believe him, told me that the Jets are the biggest lock of the season this week. So I’ll throw him a bone. That, and the fact that Tennessee shouldn’t be favored by more than a field goal against anyone with an actual defense.
PICK: Jets
Dallas (-1.5) at San Diego
It’s only appropriate that on the same day baseball’s greatest closer retires, that we will be treated to a matchup of two of the best closers in football history in Tony Romo and Philip Rivers. C’mon, you smiled.
PICK: Chargers
Washington (-3.5) at Oakland
This one is solely dependent on the health status of Terrelle Pryor. If Pryor suits up for the game, I like the Raiders to score enough to hang with Washington. RGIII clearly isn’t the same guy he was a year ago (not yet, at least) so it kind of levels the field a bit between he and Pryor. However, if Matt Flynn is under center for Oakland? Washington would need to insert Ruth Bader Ginsburg as its starting QB to balance that one out.
PICK: Raiders (if Pryor sits, then Washington)
Denver (-10.5) vs. Philadelphia
You know when you pick the latest Madden game, and you go to practice mode to try out the new buttons, and then you set up a couple of offensive plays without the defense on the field, and you score every single play you run because there are no defenders there to stop you? Yeah, I think you see where I’m going with this one.
PICK: Eagles
Atlanta (-1.5) vs. New England
Look, I’m not trying to be the 4,978th different writer to talk about this game in the context of the Breaking Bad finale. But let’s be real, even those office workers who carried around Julio Jones and Matt Ryan on their shoulders are going to be tuned in to AMC at 9:00 on Sunday.
PICK: Patriots
New Orleans (-6.5) vs. Miami
What will it take for people to finally realize that the Dolphins are pretty good? What more do they need to do? America is waging a battle against itself to see what it can be more wrong about, the Miami Dolphins or The Big Bang Theory.
PICK: Dolphins
BEST BETS: Niners, Colts, Bears, Bengals
LOCK: Colts
RECORD
LAST WEEK
Overall: 12-4 (75%)
Best Bets: 2-2 (50%)
Lock Of the Week: 1-0
YEAR TO DATE
Overall: 30-18 (62%)
Best Bets: 6-6 (50%)
Lock Of the Week: 1-2 (33%)
POWER RANKINGS
Team Name W/L (Prv)
1. Broncos 3-0 (1)
2. Seahawks 3-0 (2)
3. Bears 3-0 (5)
4. Bengals 2-1 (7)
5. Patriots 3-0 (6)
6. 49ers 1-2 (3)
7. Packers 1-2 (4)
8. Saints 3-0 (9)
9. Ravens 2-1 (11)
10. Texans 2-1 (8)
11. Dolphins 3-0 (12)
12. Falcons 1-2 (10)
13. Chiefs 3-0 (13)
14. Cowboys 2-1 (14)
15. Colts 2-1 (17)
16. Lions 2-1 (16)
17. Panthers 1-2 (20)
18. Jets 2-1 (26)
19. Titans 2-1 (28)
20. Giants 0-3 (15)
21. Chargers 1-2 (18)
22. Eagles 1-2 (19)
23. Washington 0-3 (21)
24. Rams 1-2 (22)
25. Browns 1-2 (31)
26. Vikings 0-3 (23)
27. Bills 1-2 (24)
28. Cardinals 1-2 (25)
29. Bucs 0-3 (27)
30. Steelers 0-3 (30)
31. Raiders 1-2 (29)
32. Jaguars 0-3 (32)
