Conference Names

  Posted 7/5 by Jeff Pasquino, Exclusive to Footballguys.com

This article represents a revisit to a classic from 2001, which can be found here.

Most fantasy football leagues harbor the false security that naming their respective conferences is a mere formality. Nothing could be further from the truth. Whether it be a two, three, or four conference league, the dubbing of conferences is a vital task. The conference names anchor the philosophies, beliefs, principles, and provide the raison d'etre of the entire league. The piddly leagues that meekly identify their conferences as "A" or "B" or "North", "South" are a lifeless cesspool of bland schmucks. Why even play?!

Fear no more! The following is a guideline to help provide a backbone for your league:

Tactics

There are several categories to derive conference names. Among them:

1. Current events
2. Celebrities
3. Fads
4. Nostalgia
5. Notable deaths/macabre
6. Famous duos/trios
7. Colloquialisms
8. "Inside jokes"
9. "Jeopardy" categories (things that come in two's & three's)
10. "Cheese"

• Current Events - used to benchmark the time period of the league. The "Monica Lewinsky" and "Paula Jones" conferences would let the average person know the league existed in the late '90s.
• Celebrities - always worldwide appeal. When all else fails, look at the front cover of the National Enquirer or watch E! to get an inspiration.
• Fads - for the "flash-in-the-pan" current event. The Beavis and Butthead conferences worked at one point in time. Not anymore.
• Nostalgia - for torturing fellow FFLers Can you say Rufus and Chaka Kahn? Or how about Joanie and Chachi?
• Notable Deaths/Macabre - for the truly sick and twisted. Lady Di and Dodi Fayed or possibly Lady DI and Mother Teresa. Or even John, Robert and Michael (dead Kennedys, literally)
• Famous Duos/Trios - combine Hollywood, music industry, etc. Peter, Paul, and Mary or Abbott & Costello.
• Colloquialisms - famous everyday sayings, proverbs, etc. Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil.......Crash and Burn, etc.
• Inside Jokes - you fill in the blanks with the latest office scandals, gossip items, etc. that come in 2s or 3s.
• Jeopardy Categories (2s and 3s) - use the science category for Solid, Liquid, and Gas or the mathematics category for sine, cosine, and tangent or the history category for Veni, Vidi, Vici
• Cheese - also another torture device but may include current events, fads for added effect. Example: Kevin, Joe and Nick (Jonas Brothers) or if your league is big enough, the cast of Hannah Montana (sorry, can't help you there!)

Now you have a little insight on getting started on a very important task. I have also provided the following laundry list to act as a spark for creative names:

TWO CONFERENCES

Or, if you have more teams in your league:

THREE CONFERENCES

For this year I have added some quartets:

FOUR CONFERENCES

So there you have it - tons of choices, and lots of different topics to consider. If none of these fit the bill, try and use them as inspiration for new ones, but think more "out of the box" than directional names.

Enjoy your fantasy football season.

As always, feedback is welcome at [email protected].