Somewhere on an Internet message board...

Zartan: Hey shady, when's the draft?
Shadowfax: Did you check the website?
Zartan: No. I just asked you. You're the commish.
Shadowfax: Look here clueless; you can't be that lazy. I'm getting sick of answering these inane questions.
Zartan: But it's your job, dude.
Shadowfax: Fine. I quit. You be commish. You'll enjoy the pay.

Anyone else ever experience either end of this conversation? It happens. It happens a lot. Regardless of how you became the newly anointed commissioner of your fantasy football league, there are some things you can do ahead of time to help avoid headaches and conflict down the road. It's best to assume that everyone enters into a fantasy football league with the best intentions, but if I've learned anything in all my years immersed in this hobby, it's that something happens each year that comes as a surprise. Not being prepared for that surprise might put you in the middle of a fight that could get ugly.

If you listen to ESPN radio in the morning you've probably heard Colin Cowherd mention his feelings with regard to fantasy owners. "I'm a gambler. I like gamblers. They pick up the check. Fantasy guys argue over the tip." You have to admit, there's a bit of truth to this statement. It may not be a fair comparison. Perhaps it's the pride and honor involved with fantasy leagues. Gamblers play against the house. Fantasy owners play amongst their friends. How many times have we heard that the bragging rights are more important than the money?

For those diving into this role for the first time, here is your checklist:

1. Know thy rules

   If you don't have a set of rules, stand on the shoulders of giants. Tons of leagues are in existence and a few quick searches on the Internet can yield a wealth of leagues that have been around for years. Michael Zangrilli has been doing a quality job running the Greek Leagues for years, now known as www.phenomsff.com. A quick perusal of his rules will give you a good place to start if you're still on square one.

   If you are assuming the commissionership of a preexisting league, study the rules for your league backwards and forwards. Look for inconsistencies and be aware that your league probably has items that are missing. Each year the Footballguys.com message boards get flooded with posts that ask for opinions on how a league controversy should be handled.

   There are occurrences every year in the NFL that leagues just don't plan for. For instance, last season in week 5 a bizarre play occurred in the Tampa Bay - Indianapolis game. Mike Doss of the Colts intercepted a Brad Johnson pass and started to return it up field. Doss got rocked and coughed the ball up. Keenan McCardell recovered the fumble and returned it 57 yards for a touchdown. According to the box score on Monday morning, this showed up as a fumble recovery for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Should it have been a defensive touchdown for the Bucs? I think a solid argument can be made for both sides. As a commissioner, people will look to you for a ruling in odd cases like this. If you want to avoid awkward situations like this, be sure your rules have a fallback clause for these oddities. Something like this: In cases of controversy over scoring, our league agrees to abide by statistical decisions made by the NFL reflected in the boxscores on NFL.com. Further, it seems obvious that McCardell should at a minimum receive credit for the touchdown. This is the sort of thing that its easy to forget about when writing down your scoring system or inputting it into a league management site. Another commonly forgotten occurrence is kicker scoring. What if he scores on a fake field goal? What he throws a 2-pt conversion off a muffed extra point attempt? Have you accounted for these situations?

   Other pitfalls to avoid are scoring changes. During the 2003 NFL season there were just fewer than one hundred statistical changes that sometimes occurred at least one day after games were played. How will your league handle this? Will this change your previous weeks scoring? Should it change your scoring? Generally, were talking about fractions of points, but as any seasoned owner will tell you, fractions of points have decided countless fantasy matchups.

   Lastly, after telling you that you need to plan for unusual events, you have to realize it isn't possible to plan for everything. Bizarre things are bound to happen. When thrust into this position, don't be afraid to make an executive decision. It's because of the unforeseen that the position of commissioner exists. If not for this, why even have a commissioner? If forced to make an executive decision, you can seek advice from others outside of your league like Bill Davies of Footballguys.com who played the role of judge and jury for the Fantasy Court, a Footballguys.com subscriber feature. Whatever avenue you take, be fair, be objective, and be confident in your decision.

2. Establish a rules committee meeting

   Fantasy football leagues must remain fluid to survive. Leagues and owners that cling to the same rules year after year run the risk of alienating owners that would like to see rules modifications. Do leagues have to change? Of course not, but not providing a method to amend rules by a majority of owners is irresponsible.

   Does your league have a system in place that allows owners to propose or modify existing rules? If not, you need one. A great way to start your fantasy season each year is with a rules committee meeting. My home league that I run with my wife has our annual rules committee meeting the day of the first Seattle (our local team) preseason game. Rules are amended / changed by a majority of owners in attendance.

   It can be tough to do, but you have to flexible as a commissioner. You can have an opinion, and debate the merits of your ideas, but be sure to be willing to change your league so that it bends to the will of the majority.

3. Promote your league / Seek replacement owners

   Every league has turnover. Some more than others, but inevitably it happens. During your tenure as commissioner you need to shoulder the responsibility of keeping your league alive. Even if you have a full league complete with committed owners, you should still take it upon yourself to seek out back up and alternate owners should someone duck out due to unforeseen circumstances in future seasons. Imagine the situation. You're gathered with your league at a local bar getting ready to start your draft. One of the owners is MIA. What do you do? Did you check in with this owner in the past month? Week? All the owners are going to look to you. Be prepared. You have to take it upon yourself to shoulder this burden. It's your job now.

4. Be responsible with other people's money

   Most of the time as commissioner the responsibility falls into your lap to deal with the finances of your league. It doesn't take rocket science to figure out that dealing with other people's finances can be a risky task. With the advent of online league management services that do the bulk of the work for commissioners (raise your hand if you remember scoring your league's games with the Monday morning paper), dealing with the league finances becomes your most important job. Year after year I hear stories of owners who didn't pay their league fees or transaction money. Or worse, a commissioner fell into financial trouble and can't pay out because they spent the league's money. Don't be that guy. Further, this brings up another interesting quandary. What do you do when an owner owes money to the league and doesn't pay up? In our league we freeze an owners roster and they forfeit all games until their league fees are paid. Depending on how your owners feel about it, you might want to handle this differently, but it's best to have a plan in place so the responsibility doesn't fall on you as the commissioner.

5. Concluding thoughts

   For the older members of :11:, OBC, established, LABS, and tangent crowds, you can put your hands down now.

   After reading through this again, I realize it sounds a bit doom and gloomish. Is being a good commissioner is akin to avoiding controversy and staying out of trouble? Yes and no. No one wants to have their league fall into desolation while they're at the controls, but you have to realize that things will happen that are out of your realm of influence. You just can't plan for every possible event. How you handle these situations will determine your success and failure as commissioner. Remember, decisions that occur on your watch set precedent for the future. When forced into a corner, do what's best for the league. It may not be the popular thing. It may not be the easy thing, but as long as you keep this in mind, it will probably be the right thing.